


Outwards & Inwards

by sayonaraearthling



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Developing Relationship, Disabled Character, F/M, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Unreliable Narrator, deaf!kageyama, letters from the future, not gonna lie lowkey inspired by orange
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-16 20:20:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8116138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sayonaraearthling/pseuds/sayonaraearthling
Summary: What does it take to fit into a world that won't hear you? Sometimes, the answer is as simple as learning to listen. -Hinata looks up at Kageyama and nudges him encouragingly - Kageyama, who is filled to the brim with jagged edges and thinly veiled insecurities, radiates excitement and anxiousness as he stands before him, Yachi, and everyone else. At this very moment, Hinata can honestly say he's proud of Kageyama, proud that he doesn't have to hide anymore, and proud that he's trying."My name is Kageyama Tobio, I'm a second year and I would like to join the volleyball team."  Edit: On Hiatus & currently being rewritten





	

A grunt escapes from Hinata as the train lurches for the umpteenth time, sending his head slamming against the window beside him. By now he’s given up on catching up on the sleep he’s missed for the past day and a half. Getting a call from your 13 year old sister telling you that your mother collapsed and no you can’t go on that summer road trip with Kenma and the rest of his friends, I have supplementary lessons and I can’t take care of her by myself, would do that to you.

The headache is just a bonus.

Using his arm as a buffer, Hinata leans back against the window, watching the vast landscape zip past him. Trees and buildings zoom by so fast it seems almost like a blur but hey, at least it makes for a good distraction to pass the time when your phone battery is lingering on eleven percent.

The train takes another plunge, inching forwards at an alarming pace that resembles a roller coaster in a way that’s too close for comfort. It rocks back and forth, feeling somewhat like an aftershock that pulls Shouyou’s stomach along with it. He hasn’t eaten in almost ten hours and the way the train ride is going, it’s looking like another three.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to home, not at all, he came home as often as he could his freshman year to visit old friends from high school. But that’s just it, he isn’t here for leisure – at least according to Natsu – he’s here to help his mother get back on her feet and make her life easier from an accident, one that he wasn’t even given the specifics of over their rushed phone call. Call him ungrateful but the thought of spending his summer running errands for his mother, caring for his handful of a sister by himself, _cooking_ for said sister leaves a sour taste in his mouth.

It doesn’t take him long to finally get home, a three hour train ride and an hour’s walk up into the mountains is all it takes to get to an empty house and a simple note left by Natsu on the counter. Famished and near passing out, Hinata makes himself a quick sandwich with the scraps of lunch meat they have left in the fridge. _Seems like she fell or whatever before she was able to fill up the place_ , Sunday was grocery day after all. Hinata takes a quick bite of his sandwich before leaning over the kitchen counter to read the note left for him.

_Shou,_

_At lessons ‘til noon, Grandma Ukai called yesterday said she had something to give to mom at the hospital so could you stop by there? I’m pretty sure she said your old coach wanted to see you too so just meet me back home and we can see mom together._

_Natsu_

The ginger lets out a chuckle from Natsu’s sloppy handwriting somewhat identical to his own. Straightening his back and setting the paper down, Shouyou takes a quick glance at the clock hung in front of him. _A little past noon,_ he notes, _Natsu should be getting out around now_. He thinks to himself, polishing off the rest of the sandwich and wiping the bits of jelly smeared on his cheeks.

Hinata lets out a loud echoing groan as he leaves the house, just now realizing that Natsu is using his old bike, which means he’ll have to walk _back_ down the way he came – and while going down the mountain was less tedious than walking up there’s the chance that, knowing him, he could slip and fall with one false step, and he’s not looking forward to getting stitches any time soon.

He rushes down the mountain with more gusto than what should be allowed but he chalks it up to the fact that he’s actually looking forward to seeing Ukai again after so long. Ever since he graduated and up and moved to Tokyo for his bachelors he hadn’t have much time to visit and ask about the team and how they were holding up. When he did come home, his coach was always busy, away at training camp, working in the farm out back, manning the shop, you name it.

A part of him wonders if the new team managed to get to nationals, a feat they never could achieve during his three years there.

Hinata shakes his head as he approached Sakanoshita, that was a bitter train of thought he knew he didn’t want to finish.

Sakanoshita looks the same as ever, the windows covered in little posters of community events that have long passed and a large wooden sign hanging over the gray shingle roof. The sight gives Hinata a pang of nostalgia of his high school days, running past his other teammates by himself down the slope to get to the store first for the off chance that the soccer team hadn’t depleted the store of all the pork buns.

Wiping the sweat on his forehead that had gathered there from his walk underneath the harsh sunlight, he slid open the door, his shoulders relaxing from the scent of ginger and soy sauce that permeated from the kitchen in the back a smell Hinata has long come to associate with Grandma Ukai’s famous pork buns.

Natsu is leaning on her elbows over the counter, (a part of him wonders how he didn’t notice his bike parked outside the shop) the beige employee apron tied loosely over her school uniform as she plays with her large orange curls and simultaneously talking to someone he hasn’t seen in what feels like forever, Yachi.

“Shou, you’re late!” Natsu pauses in her conversation to yell enthusiastically over Yachi’s shoulder. Shouyou doesn’t miss the way Hitoka visibly flinches in her shoes before turning to face him.

“It’s been a while, Hinata-kun.” Yachi slurs slightly, a small unsure smile on her face.

“Yeah it has actually, long time no see.” He ignores his sister (who pouts and crosses her arms at the notion) in favor of greeting his old high school friend.

Appearance wise, Yachi hasn’t changed much since they left high school. Her thick wavy locks billowed down her back and curled around her face slightly, cupping her rosy cheeks in a way that resembled her mother’s. They weren’t as full as they had been in high school but if anything else it gave her a sharper look, making her seem older than she actually was. She was a little thinner than the last time he's seen her too, her skin just a little bit pale.

“Natsu just told me about your mother, I hope she gets well soon.” Yachi adds.

“Oh no it’s not that bad!” Natsu interrupts right as he’s about to respond. “She just tripped down the stairs at work so now she just has a sprain or two, really.”

“Are you saying I missed out on the road trip of my life just because you over reacted on the phone?” Shouyou narrows his eyes at Natsu.

“Hey, you and I both know I can’t do this by myself, remember that one time I set my hair on fire trying to fry fish?” Natsu rests her hands on her waist. “Plus it’s not all that bad, Grandma Ukai baked mom a cake so we can just eat it instead y’know?”

The siblings’ attention is drawn away when Yachi gasps and her vibrating phone drops face down on the floor. The blonde rushes to pick up her phone, and Shouyou can’t help but notice the way her arm shakes as if she was using all her strength not to drop it a second time. 

An awkward silence fills the air as Yachi makes an effort not to seem out of place more than she already is.

Natsu lets out a sharp whistle, her eyes shining with forced amusement and worry. “That was pretty close, I’m surprised your screen didn’t crack.” She chirps.

“Yeah, I uh- It’s a thing that just kind of happens, I can’t really…” Yachi trips over her words, looking close to panicking. “I should go, I have to meet Shimizu for lunch soon but it was nice seeing you again, Natsu, Hinata-kun.” Yachi bows quickly, tucking her hands under her arms and rushing out the shop – nearly tripping over her own feet in the process – before either of them have a chance to say goodbye.

Hinata can’t get the image of the unfitting melancholy look she wore out of his head.

Hearing Yachi referring to him with a suffix puts him off a little, he hasn’t heard that since, what was it, first year? But sometime after seeing her post-graduation she had reverted back to addressing him as such.

Shouyou doesn’t know the full story, was never allowed to in the first place. All he knows – and pretty much everyone else on the team for that matter – is that a while after graduation Yachi suddenly dropped off the face of the planet. No calls, no texts, nothing. And just as they had all begun to fear the worst, Hitoka showed up, although a different person. One Hinata almost didn’t recognize. It was almost as if she had reverted back to before she had joined the volleyball team.

He’s asked before, yes, but Yachi never said a word and eventually everyone just seemed to give up and left it be. He’s sure out of all people, Kiyoko may know a thing or two or at least have an idea. The few times Shouyou has seen Yachi out in town she was joined hip to hip with the raven.

Yes, it hurt to know that for once he couldn’t help with something, that anything he said wouldn’t amend to anything.

“I wonder if I said something wrong.” Natsu mumbles, her eyebrows furrowed as she stared down at her hands on the counter.

“No, I don’t think it was you.” Hinata reassures, staring at the door Yachi rushed out of.

There are brief moments where Yachi looks like she’s going to just collapse from the weight of the word and he wonders that maybe he waited too long to speak up. Maybe he could have helped.

“I guess there’s nothing we can do now.” Shouyou admits, partly to himself. “C’mon Natsu, we should leave now if we wanna get there by two.” He calls, making his way out the store. After seeing Yachi again, he wasn’t really in the mood to talk to Ukai even if he was there.

Natsu hastily pulls off the apron, throwing it on the chair sitting in front of the cash register before picking up the cake left on the counter beside it. Rushing to follow after Shouyou before pausing to run back and announce her departure to Grandma Ukai then turning tail to run outside.

 

 

 

 

The wind swept through his short hair almost violently as he pedaled through town, Natsu sitting on the seat behind him, headphones in and lazily tapping away at her phone as she called out directions every now and again.

In an odd way the air smelled thick with impending rain, the heaviness settling into his bones and making him feel more sluggish than usual, which obviously, made his mood even worse. Thoughts of "what if" closing off and eating away at him with no solution in sight.

It made him feel nauseous.

Stopping at the train tracks, an idea settled in Hinata’s head as he watched the train roll by faster than his eyes could follow. Reaching in his pocket for his phone he typed a quick message.

 **To:** Sugawara Koushi  
**Subject:** get together

 **Message:** Hey, do you mind helping me? I just came back for summer break and I was kinda hoping to get the old team back together and I need your help convincing Daichi, Asahi, and Kiyoko. Thanks!!

He doesn't get an answer back right away and the feeling gnaws at him all throughout the bike ride and their visit at the hospital. Hinata resigns himself to the corner of the small hospital room after messing up his mom's request for Dr.Pepper with Diet sprite. A part of him feels lost as he tunes out Natsu complaining about her teacher to their mother (while stuffing her mouth to the brim with cake) in favor of looking through his notifications for was probably the twentieth time.

After a while his mother shoos them off with a warning about the rain, both knowing that she saw right though Shouyou due to how distracted he seemed that afternoon even though he wouldn't give her a hint besides, "I ran into an old classmate today." 

Plus, if he's ever going to figure out how to make something edible with room for error before Natsu goes to sleep, they'd have to leave now.

By the time Shouyou finally gets the response he's been waiting all day for, he’s elbows deep in cooking oil, hunched over one of his mother’s cookbooks with the house smelling suspiciously of smoke and charred garlic.

He doesn’t think much of it at first when his ringtone sounds, with the pan beside him being on the verge of catching fire and all. But when he unlocks his phone and looks at the message, the text littered with nonsense emojis that he’s come to expect from his old senpai, and a definite confirmation to his idea, the weight that had been hanging on his shoulders for hours feels just a little bit lighter.

 

 

 

 

Hinata trips over his own two feet as he frantically tries to remove his shoes and scarf in the doorway and avoid running into the tiny devil disguised in a tiny orange headed child known to be his sister at the same time.

He swears to himself when he hears her voice bellowing down the hallway and makes a quick sprint into the kitchen where his mother, bless her, doesn’t bat an eyelash at the way he rushes in like he’s just witnessed a tornado and continues to nonchalantly stir the pan on front of her.

He quickly ducks in the pantry, shutting himself inside the dark closet, the tiniest bit of light coming through the shutter style door.

Neither of them say a word when Natsu bursts in calling for him, and even though he can’t see her from this angle, he knows she’s holding the play make-up kit she got a couple of months ago for Christmas.

His mother is quick to dismiss her, fabricating a story about how he already went to shower. He hears Natsu whine before loudly stomping out the room, to which she is then scolded for. Just for safety measures – in the off chance she comes back – Shouyou stays crouched leaning back against the large bag on rice on the floor behind him, squinting at the door.

“I’m guessing your first day went well,” she starts, shifting to close the door he and Natsu left open, eyes never leaving the sizzling pan. “Maybe today you’ll actually get more than two bites of dinner in before you end up wearing it.” She gives a haughty laugh at the memory.

“I was fifteen then, I haven’t done that since first year, y’know!” He opens the door to yell, cheeks dusted red.

“Oh, right I forgot. You’re seventeen, almost a man now. You should be nicer you know? It’s not nice to bully the elderly!” She cackles, eyes scrunched as he took his time climbing out the pantry.

“Your literally going to be thirty five next month, mom” Shouyou retorts, unimpressed. He takes a moment, to peek over her shoulder to peek at what she’s cooking.

“Hey!” She yells, pointing the spatula in her hand threateningly at him. “Say that to my noisy joints, and don’t sass me mister man.” Her teasing voice contradicts her serious expression in a way that Shouyou can’t help but laugh at as he runs out the kitchen.

He gets past Natsu’s room and to his bedroom unscathed thankfully, with no butterfly clips in his hair and no lipstick mercilessly smeared on his cheeks. He loves his sister no doubt, but scrubbing glitter eye shadow from his eyes (and eyebrows) is harder and more annoying than it looks.

Plus school dragged on long enough as it is.

While volleyball practice wasn’t as rigorous as it usually was thanks to the new first years that joined, it did run longer than usual thanks to all the introductions and having to deal with Tsukishima in general (because apparently even though he was voted captain, the fact that he’s just under 170 cm doesn’t mean squat to a guy well over 190 cm, especially when his childhood friend was vice-captain).

That and the fact that he had to sit through lecture after lecture today, all of his teachers repeating the same exact speech about college and life didn’t really help either.

Carelessly throwing his bag filled to the brim with textbooks to the floor, he moves to change out of his sweats and into something more comfortable (and less soaked with sweat). In the middle of pulling on a pair of shorts his eyes catch on a small unfamiliar book along with the large bulky textbooks.

Stalking over to it, he flips the pink, flower patterned book around, finding no words on its cover. The book felt oddly heavy in the palms of his hands, it wwasn’t particularly large as a matter of fact, just the opposite actually. It gives him a slight uneasy feeling if he were all that honest.

 _Huh, maybe one of Natsu’s notebooks got mixed up with mine._ He thinks as he opens it, flipping through the pages.

He reads through odd snippets, one’s with too much punctuation and high level vocabulary to written by his sister – hell, half of these he didn’t even understand the definition of!

It’s not until he comes across one particular line on an indistinct page that goes way too into detail about the female biology cycle does he drop the book like it’s on fire.

Forget the fact that it might even remotely have something to do with his sister; that thought is far out the window by now. Hell it’s a fucking diary!

How it managed to wiggle its way into his school bag of all things is beyond him, he hasn’t even talked to any of the girls in his class, so there’s no reasonable way as to _why there’s a diary in his book bag_. He’s almost afraid to touch it again, thinking that some poor classmate of his will barge in any second and call him a freak or a pervert for stealing their diary and reading their private thoughts.

Hinata finds himself sitting on the floor, pulling the dropped notebook onto his lap. Just by looking at the cover he can tell, its clearly been well used, the binding worn as if it had been open and closed several times a day.   _I’m just looking for a name_ , he reassures himself as he blatantly disregards the front page (where a name may most likely be), and to a random page.

_May 7_

_It’s been really warm the past few days_ _☆ warm enough that I could try wearing my summer uniform. (I froze and Tobio had to lend me his jacket when I wouldn’t stop shaking but that is beside the point!)_

 _Apparently, it was warm enough for outdoor gym class. So I kind of got dragged into playing tennis with Aya and some of the other girls in my class. I couldn’t really get a word in to Tobio, which I feel kind of bad for since he just spent the period alone. I don’t think he minds!! At least I hope, oh god what if he hates me?? The fact that he had to carry me to the nurse over a sprained ankle_ _is reason enough_ _> < What if that girl hates me for crashing into her?? I smudged her makeup too, oh my god I’m gonna die!!_

Shouyou slammed the book closed, dropping it back down to his lap as he buried his head in his hands. Just. Wow. The writer of the diary was more eccentric than he had prepared for.

Guilt seeps into him like gasoline and burns at him as he realizes he is literally reading someone’s most innermost thoughts and judging them. His chest feels heavy, as if his lungs are filled with smoke, and his stomach feels as though it’s being churned. _No more reading_ , he reprimands himself, shoving the book back where he first found it.

As his mother calls him and Natsu to the table for dinner, Shouyou makes a resolve to find the diary’s owner tomorrow in class and be done with this whole mess.


End file.
